ever get the feeling that you might be having a heart attack in the middle of doing something you shouldnt have been doing in the first place? do you stop what you are doing and make ready, or continue and just wait and see? food for thought is just a buffet of free advice thats worth every cent until youve consumed too much.

how does one go through life and know, or pretend to know, what they will be "when they grow up"? where traits like contentedness, humility or patience are your greatest strengths but also your greatest weaknesses. i would say it works the same across all virtues. knowing when to make a run for it or pull the proverbial trigger is what i believe sets apart the successful from the misguided.

where to start. a blog entry that may be my last after this posting. ive created an open canvas that i can never fill and may end up as another endless project, waiting in line with the other endless projects ready to ride the roller coaster of standing in line itself. also known as the best ride in the park.

given the amount of thought transactions one can process in a given day, how much is recycled by the short term memory shredder, never to be remembered? for me this isnt much different than any given dream, with the exception that i feel a thought is made on a concious level. that, and my dreams seem to make even less sense than some of the random thoughts selected for forced evacuation (or rather, said out loud).

so what to ramble about today...

a recurring thought plagues me. i come home after work and open the sliding glass door to let in the cool evening air. my desk faces an interior wall, and the sliding glass door is caddy cornered behind me. the blinds are pulled for privacy, the screen is shut, and the door is only open by a handful of inches. but its still open, and the door knows it. in the event someone wanted to waltz into my personal space and decided to perform a riverdance solo post intermission, my options would be quite limited.

oh well. thats enough nonsense for now. maybe more for later. then again, maybe not. of course now that i am ready to post, it would only seem fit for a connection to drop out, causing me to lose the fruits of my labor over the last hour plus. ah the things in life that make your soul smile with contempt.